Shut Up And Kiss Me
by Lusting Hatred
Summary: REVISED! So Chichi has left Goku and he feels that he has reached rock bottom but there will always be a spiky haired warrior to pull him back up. G/V, Warnings: Coarse Language, Yaoi NO SMUT , angst and possibly more.
1. Depression

The weather outside just mimicked his emotions. He wished that he could cry like the rain fell from the sky, he wish he could wash away the pain but it was all there. There was nothing he could do to stop the pain. She was gone. She had just left. All those threats over the decades of having her at his side had finally come. How many times had she threatened to walk out if he didn't start caring? How many times had he left to spar and stay out late when she sat at the table eating alone? It was just so hard to comprehend now.

As he rolled over in his empty bed, exploring the forgotten or unwanted garments of Chichi on the floor, he recalled his final departure. He recalled telling her he would be home for dinner, he even recalled telling her he loved her. She hadn't replied, he had just thought that he had done something wrong again. When he returned though, she was gone. She had left the house clean; except the room, and the fridge was fully stocked, but overall, it seemed so pointless without her.

His friends had yet to find out that she was gone. He could bluff them awhile, telling them she was sick and he was going to stay home with her, or telling them they were just having a day in together. No one seemed to have grown suspicious yet but it was only a short time until someone would, it had already been a week.

Goku quickly sat up in bed and grabbed the bottle of prescription medication off of the bedside table. When Chichi was here, no one in the house would dare to have any medication for emotions, but with her away now…. Well he needed it.

He dumped to pills into his hand and quickly threw them back in his throat before putting the lid on and returning the pills to the bedside table. Sleep was easy to come after taking a couple of the anti-depressants; the curious thing was that the label didn't indicate that drowsiness was a side affect of taking the pills.

* * *

_Guilt, hate, sorrow, lust, joy, love…. Fuck! These humans are so fucking pathetic._ Vegeta growled under his breathe. He had picked up this book to humour Bulma, well not quite to humour her but it was a condition of him staying with her now that the divorce had been finalized.

His eyes continued travelling through the book reading pieces of it, _most hate is based off fear and insecurities_, pathetic, _the ego represses the id, which contains all darkness, to achieve joy_, moronic, _95 percent of all marriages and/or relationships are triggered from lust, not love_, hilarious! The human species had outdone themselves! They had truly become more savage then Vegeta could ever imagine. He knew that most of them must've lied to each other to get them in bed. Anything for sex, was that really what the human's wanted? Not once had he ever said that to that woman he was married to, nor had she said it to him. They were in complete understanding, it was all for sex, nothing else.

With a loud snort he threw the book to the floor, he wished that Kakarrot could see how pathetic human's truly were. He wished that that man would just let him kill off this pathetic species; he wished that the man would just give up!

With a quick yank of the cord, he turned off the light and rolled onto his side looking out the window. He would spare with Kakarrot tomorrow, he wouldn't take another bullshit excuse about saving his marriage. He would go and drag that whimpering infant out by the ear if he had to.

It seemed like only minutes but he knew that he had been out for hours. He could hear everyone screaming downstairs, kind of a morning ritual. Sometimes he remained in bed and pretended to sleep; until that damned blue haired woman came in and woke him up, and other times, he would actually go downstairs and eat with the family. Today he decided to go and eat with the family.

He stood up and quickly pulled on a pair of plaid pyjama pants over his naked flesh and left his room shirtless.

"Mom! Have you seen my coat?" his daughter, Bura, screamed much to loud.

Vegeta snorted as he made his way down into the kitchen, this may have been a morning ritual but it was really more annoying then anything. Even on the weekend the girl could find something to yell about at seven in the morning.

"Oh you're actually up," Bulma said as she placed a plate of eggs, toast, home fries, and bacon as well as a cup of black coffee, "I wasn't aware that you existed before noon."

"With all this noise, who could sleep around here?" He snapped back bitterly before taking a quick sip of coffee.

"You normally," Bulma bit back equally as angry.

"I fake it."

"Apparently I did teach you something then," Bulma said turning away from him to hide the smile growing across her face.

Vegeta stood up and turned away from her, Kakarrot would be up and ready to spare now, not that he really had a choice about it. It was either Kakarrot or this woman would probably find her head through one of the walls.

Forgetting about his current wardrobe, Vegeta left the house and took off flying at full-speed. He would be at Kakarrot's soon enough, then he would feel better as he pummelled the other.

Upon arriving at the house, Vegeta knew that something was wrong. Usually by this time, that wench of Kakarrot's would be making something in the kitchen but there was no scent of anything being cooked.

Vegeta slowly began to move around the house observing the small things. The grass was uncut and beginning to fill with patches of crab grass, the windows were unclean and showing dust, and the flowerpots in the windows were looking withered, as if no one was taking care of them anymore.

He moved back to the door and tried at the doorknob. It was unlocked. That wench would never have left the door unlocked, not even if she was sick and dieing, she was too strict about privacy and organization to let anyone who pleased into the house, although a simple lock would due almost nothing to keep him out.

He inhaled a heavy breath of the scents in the room; there was no scent of her, he could only smell the other full blood Saiya-Jin but there was something off with his scent. There was a bitter smell to it. It reminded him of the medication labs in the Capsule Corp's lab.

He began to climb the stairs and continued to look at the things around him. He noticed a couple of things were missing or at least they were out of place. He reached the top of the staircase and entered into Kakarrot's room. There were clothes on the floor, the closet door was opened and empty, drawers from the dresser stood ajar with only a piece or two of clothing in them and the bed was unmade.

"The wench left him…." Vegeta said walking over to the bedside table and picking up the prescription bottle.

A growl rumbled in his throat as he held back a need to destroy the bottle in hand.

With a large fish in hand, Goku entered the house through the backdoor, which lead directly into the kitchen. He felt warn out like he had only had an hour of sleep for the last week. His body was cramped up and it hurt everywhere to move. Worse was that all his senses had been off for the last little while, he had assumed that he was just to depressed to try anymore.

He threw the fish onto the table and slowly began heading upstairs to get a couple of his pills. They had begun to ware off, he could once again feel the hollowness returning to his chest, the unstoppable pain deafening his senses, he didn't want to hurt anymore.

He made it up the stairs and turned into the doorway of his room to see Vegeta laying on the bed with his pills in his hand.

"Kakarrot," Vegeta said reading over the label again, it must have been close to a hundred thousand times that he had read that label.

"Vegeta…. What are you doing here?" Goku said narrowing his eyes, "I would appreciate if you left, I need to clean up before Chichi gets back, she said she would be home in a couple of hours.

Vegeta swung his legs over the side of the bed, "You didn't sense me, did you? You didn't hear me or smell me, you didn't have any idea that I was here, did you?"

Goku was stunned in place. He didn't, he still couldn't sense or smell the other, if he didn't see him now, then he still wouldn't know the he was here, "I did…. What does it matter anyways?"

"Did you know that our systems are far different from humans? That some medication that they take can be fatal to us? Can kill us without us knowing?" Vegeta said climbing to his feet, "We are far stronger then them but that's also a little bit of a weakness for us. Their medication could be like a slow poison. First it would kill off our sense, make us feel tired and weak, then it would start draining our ki, make us as weak as them, and if we didn't realise something was wrong then…." He vanished for a second and appeared in front of Goku, "we would probably end up dead."

Goku took a quick step back, "Vegeta, Chichi will be home soon, get out!"

"She's not coming back!" Vegeta screamed at the other, "Look around Kakarrot, her clothes are gone, the pictures of her and your sons are gone! The ones with you are still here, but she doesn't want those! She's not coming back, she's gone for good!"

Goku began slowly backing away from the other with tears slowly running down his face. _He's wrong, she'll be back, she has to, I love her…_

Vegeta watched as something in his chest began to hurt. So painful. Something he had never felt before. Burning almost. Had the fumes of the pills begun poisoning him? No.

"Kakarrot, get your shit together," Vegeta growled harshly.

"No!"

"Kakarrot, now! I am not going to let you poison and destroy yourself, you are coming back with me."

Vegeta had made an unsettling discovery. He had begun to feel like a pathetic human. He felt guilty for the way that he had spoken to the other and it hurt…. A lot!


	2. Dreams

The last three days were spent with eyes locked on the ground. He had no passion to get out of bed or to stare at the faces around him and attempt; although everyone knew he was faking, to put on a smiling facade. It all seemed to be a waste of time; he wished he didn't even have to get out of bed.

His tired feet clunked heavily on each of the steps as he made his way down the stairs to the spectators below. He knew that their eyes would be locked on him. He knew that they would be sitting at the table in the midst of creating a fake conversation so he didn't realize that they had been talking about him but he knew… he had overheard everyday so far as he stood at the top of the stairs working up the courage to paste a smile across his features.

He reached the ground floor and flashed the smile around the table before taking his usual seat at the table. This was about the time that everyone would go through their plans about what they were doing for the day that would leave him all by himself to work on cooping with his broken heard. It may not have been the best idea but they all knew that it was what he really wanted.

Bulma laid her utensils down and smiled over at him, "Goku, Bura and I were going to take a walk through the park, look at all the falling leafs and take in the beauty of the season, we were wondering if you wanted to join us, it might do you some good to actually come out and get some fresh air," She said making it more of a statement then a question, he felt that he didn't really have a chance.

Goku picked up the fork and began poking at the tops of the eggs before him and watching the yolk run over the whites, "I guess that could be… fun," He said flashing his famous grin around the table.

"Kakarrot, you don't have to go," Vegeta said as he took a sip of his coffee, "I haven't really had a good sparring section in a while and it would be good to take up some pent-up frustration."

The smile leaked off Goku's face. So the day could go two ways, he could go to the park with Bulma and Bura and pretend to enjoy the sights of the park or he could stay and be Vegeta's human punching bag. The second seemed to make a lot of sense, it might've actually made him feel better but he knew that it was not the smartest thing he could do.

"I think that going out might do me some good," he said putting down his fork and picking up a piece of toast taking a small bite.

"Guess that you will be training with me again whelp," he said eyeing his son who gave a loud gulp at the thought.

* * *

The leafs were quite beautiful as they danced through the wind around the park. It seemed like the park was full of young couples hand in hand' no matter where you looked there was a couple in site. A couple of artists sat around the park drawing or painting the famous fall colours but they brought no relief.

Shortly after arriving at the park, Bura had run off when she had unexpectedly bumped into a cute boy from your math class. It seemed that it was unluckily to have been a coincidence, or so Bulma thought, but they could do nothing to argue with her. Instead they had bought some cotton candy and sat down on a bench overlooking the riverfront.

"So do you feel any better?" Bulma asked as she ripped a piece of the pink cotton candy off the stick and stuck it in her mouth.

"No, not at all." The reply came out a little more quiet then intended.

"You know, I always found that the pink cotton candy tastes so much better then the blue… do you think that they mix it differently?" She said tearing a piece of the blue off to compare it with the pink.

Goku smiled and leaned back on the bench as he spun the stick around in his hand, "I never really gave it much thought… actually I think they both taste the exact same if you ask me."

They stared out over the water just taking in the view of leafs travelling downstream. The raven-haired man found that he could relate well with each other those leafs, moving in the direction that faith had planned for them, not being in control to change their direction, to move towards shore, they just had to keep going with the pull.

"I wish I could relate to you," She said with her eyes locked on the river.

"The pain?" The other said focusing his eyes on her.

She gave a small chuckle before turning and looking at the muscular man beside her, "No, I've had that, maybe not as bad, but I have been in pain before."

"With Vegeta?"

"Kind of," she said ripping another piece of the pink fluff in front of her and sticking it into her mouth, "I was in pain from all the fear I had bottled up."

"What happened between you two?" Goku asked dropping his eyes to the ground. He had wondered about this so many times, wanted to ask so many times but he figured that if either of them wanted to talk about it they would.

"I really don't understand myself," Bulma said smiling at him quickly and looking into the sky.

"Was it someone else?"

"No… well… yes… kind of," she said biting softly on her bottom lip, "It wasn't that there was someone else, more there was the dream of someone else. I wanted to love."

Goku raised his head and his chocolate eyes met the blue ones of the woman beside him, "You mean that you never loved Vegeta?"

"Not for a second," her smile lit her features.

"Did he love you?"

"No but he loves our children," she turned her head back to the river, "He would never say it, but he really does love them. They make him happy… almost at least."

They had had two children together and never loved each other. He just couldn't make sense of it. Did this mean that Chichi may not have ever loved him, that maybe she had stayed around as long as she had because of their children? That all the times she had told him that he was a constant pain to her, that he always seemed to make her life tougher, was it just a way to tell him that she didn't love him?

"I did love her though," Goku said as he leaned forward to stare at the ground.

"I know you did and I know that you will love again," Her hand rose to rub his back, "Goku, I would never question your love, you have saved the world for us hundreds of times and never once did you want anything. Your love is so pure it should be sacred. You did nothing wrong. You gave her the love that you could but she couldn't appreciate the way that she should have."

"Do you think that she loved me?"

"I know she did at first," Bulma wasn't prepared for this, she didn't want to hurt him anymore but she also knew that she couldn't lie to him, "She must have loved you at first, you two were perfect for each other but time wore her down. She spent a lot of time alone questioning the marriage, questioning her love for you. I think she just fell out of love. Goku, she really didn't deserve you."

He sat there with his head hanging. He wished that he could change it all but how could he? He couldn't have stayed back and let the world be destroyed, let her be destroyed. He protected the world for his family and friends, for her and she fell out of love with him because of that? Who was to say that anyone could love him when he was always running off with no guarantees that he would be coming back? How many times had he promised that he would be back only to be gone for periods of months?

"Goku, you will love again. You will find someone who understands you. You will have the perfect love. You are strong. You are too full of love not to share it," She moved her hand to raise his head and stare into his eyes, "Just flash that award winning smile and you could capture anyone's heart."

The Saiya-Jin warrior couldn't repress the famous smile as it broke across his face. It was nice; it was the first time since she had left him that he was actually smiling. It was the first time since that day that he actually felt like there was hope for him. He had a dream now; well not quite a dream but there was a dream of a dream.

* * *

This chapter did not appear in the original story, it was actually some attempt to show some character development; I hope I didn't disappoint anyone. I plan on adding a few new chapters, I felt the original was a bit short and the depths of the characters and storyline was kind of shallow. I must dedicate this chapter to leth101 just for the first review and also for being the first to add it to their favourites. Thank you.


End file.
